Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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