I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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