found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
