I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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