C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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