Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Someone signed my nipple.
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