if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
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