I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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