Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize