I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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