Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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