Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
