im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
