ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
