I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
stop calling my apartment porn island.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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