I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I stole a fireplace last night.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
