youre lurking in front of me
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
