I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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