Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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