woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
