Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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