Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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