im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I CAN MOONWALK!
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
