Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
