I need help removing her.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize