he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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