i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
