My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
