Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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