I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
