I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
she told me i tasted like america
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
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