God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
