I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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