Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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