I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
