When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
