I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize