hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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