he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
