U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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