come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize