How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
