we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
