Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize