aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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