god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Randomize
