i barfeds in our rink
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
