Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
