dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
