so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
