I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
