I cockslap morals
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
My pussy is not your playground.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
