Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
