Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
