so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
