This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
