Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
