so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
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