She is in my trunk
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
