I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'm both gender and math confused
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
