i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
