I bet he comes in French.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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