the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
