Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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